Building a patois menu

We are on the lookout for additions to the current dishes available here in Italy:

Toast with Stuff
Scrawed Fruit
Boiler Eggs
Parmesan with speak in the roast
Fillet of calf
Cost of pork
Spaghetti with Sea Hurchins
Spaghetti with cryfish and gourgettes
all washed down with Wodka Tonic and breadcrubs